DISCLAIMER: Contradicting to the topic, I am a typical unromantic personality, yet in love marriage. So certainly, not here to give gyaan for anyone. I am sharing my perspective of romance in a relationship.

Reality of Romantic Relationships
Being There During Changes

‘Letters meant everything to us. Love, hate, anger, fights, happiness or sadness, everything was shared through letters. The joy of reading the letter from the partner, writing a response for the same and again, waiting for the reply filled with subtle hints of love, possessiveness and love mixed anger cannot be traded for anything in my life’, he uttered these words, looking at his partner, whom he has been  married for 71 years.

In the recent past, I have heard a lot of older generation saying, ‘This generation is very sharp. They exactly know what they want. They are well-planned and understand the challenges of life. They don’t think emotionally. They are very practical’. To hear such statements is truly pleasing to the ears. But, do I agree with it? Maybe. Partially. Yes, we are practical, we are logical and we confidently face the consequences of our actions. Yet, we are far behind in understanding human relationships and emotions.

Reality of Romantic Relationships
Be Who You Are Always

A very common story happened with one of my acquaintances who was in love with a boy for 3 years. We, as friends, saw the ups and downs in their relationship. They would have an extreme public display of affection as well as anger. One small fight or argument, they would instantly show it on their social media profiles, WhatsApp status messages, etc. Every fight would have a discussion of the breakup. And, amidst this discussion, they would have blocked and added each other again on Facebook and Instagram. Personally, it was disgusting to witness such alleged insensitive romance. Sad, but they broke up for once for all.

In these three years seeing their relationship, and many more couples, who were dating each other, I really wondered, ‘what is true love, what is the reality of romantic relationships in the present times’? For the present generation, why is it so hard to hold on to a relationship even for few months, forget years? What is the essence of true love in the current times?

Each of us has a different meaning of love. Each of us believes in expressing love for our partner differently. For instance, I can express my love for my partner only through words and cooking his favorite meal. Having said that, my definition of love and romance is different. To me love is not always about going out for movies, doing night parties, buying expensive gifts or flowers, candlelight dinners, beach walks or sharing love messages such as ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’.

In my eyes, a relationship filled with love needs to be based on trust and honesty. A true romantic relationship is more than hugs and kisses. Real romance is about standing outside the hospital doors for each other, supporting each other during a financial crisis without any apprehensions, supporting the partner to heal the emotional wounds. It is about taking care of each other physically, mentally and socially. Sacrificing your time for your partner benefits. Being there for your partner, whether you believe in things they do or not. Never give up on your partner in front of any third person. Above all, it is treating the partner’s emotions as equal to yours. Angry or not, one must always be ready to set aside ego and look at solving the problems with maturity. In short, respecting the partner’s self-respect is true love and not point out your efforts, because you do it for your love.

The day we know to respect other’s self-respect, I would say we are matured. The day we choose to nurture relationships over breaking up, I would say we are better than our elders. The day we choose to be sensitive and take care of other’s emotions FIRST, we will be truly human. You could have your meaning of love and romance. In reality, a relationship can turn into a marriage and sustain only when it is a blend of honest conviction, concern, compassion, communication, and compromise.


  • Anjitha

    Well written dear…
    I feel nobody is perfect, for the reason everytime things cannot go smoothly. I believe there is no point in breakups, it is like a baby trying to walk…may fall many times but can’t give up. I follow one thing is whenever situation goes bad and feel destroyed, I remember the numerous sweet moments with my partner and try to love more and more…. Relationship is really precious, and that most of us understand only by losing them.

  • Saravanan

    You have captured the essence of relationship in a very nice way.
    The real key is who is comprising and how much.. Both people have a stand and when as a third person you are looking from their perspective (as they are shaped by circumstances in which they have led their life ) it seems right but one has to let go and relent .. If you have that person as partner who is ready to take that pain and let go then it’s good . But if both people stand their ground for what they believe which might even mean self respect for them there are bound to be issues..

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