Love Thyself!!!


Sometimes working from home and working solo, handling personal and professional commitments can be quite overwhelming. Today was one such day. The multiple deliveries of projects, online mentoring and reviewing of students, hundreds of mundane household chores, and above all my never-ending pursuit to hit the gym. Oh, My God, today was one among the exhaustive days with lots of certainty and uncertainty. What better than a long walk accompanied by the evergreen tunes of the Legendary A.R. Rahman to beat the tiredness. A man who doesn’t need a definition. I am proud and blessed to be born in this time of the evolution where I can cherish memories of his music. (Don’t worry, I am not going to talk to about ARR).

After the tiring and yet joyful session in the gym, as I step out, the dark clouds turn into the mighty shower of rain and make the day even more blissful. The half drenched me, gets inside a vegetable market to wait for the rains to slow down. As I remove the headphones and start enjoying the sounds of the thunder and rain, I hear two women conversing with each other. Judging by the context of the conversation and the tone, I felt they were in the mid-fifties and they had an interesting conversation about their children.

The Conversation:

One woman told the other, that I am so proud of my son that it’s been five years that he is in the US, he has got a promotion, bought a house and settled in his life. The other lady congratulated her and added her joy. She stated that her son has finally agreed to get married to a girl from our own caste, leaving behind the past, and she is proud of her son. She added that the wedding preparations and celebrations are about to begin in a few weeks. They sounded joyful and marked this moment as the biggest victory of their lives. As I was hearing this conversation, I completely ignored the fact that the rains have stopped. I started my journey back home yet the conversation was still lingering in my mind.

After the dinner, here I am still wondering about the conversation that ended my day. Most of us would have heard this statement from our parents, friends, peers or colleagues, ‘I am so proud of you’. (If you haven’t, then you better say it to yourself and take pride in loving and appreciating yourself’). Coming back to the conversation and the topic, it took me to the moments of my childhood, and wondered ‘What did they actually mean, when they said, I am so proud of you?’. I kept questioning myself, ‘Where they proud of my marks, my salary, my career path, my decisions?’ I felt today that the statement, ‘I am proud of you’ was incomplete when they uttered to me in my formative years.

My Thoughts

In the conversation between the mothers, it felt as if they were happy that their children listened to their decisions. I always wonder, why parents are so happy when their child agrees to get married to the person that they have chosen. Of course, in this world of love marriages, I also see family and friends who appreciate children who choose their own partners. But, I have also seen parents who feel proud and brag about their children, if he or she gets a job in the international location or buys a house or a car. Oh, I forgot, a green card, amidst the Trump chaos, is definitely considered as a celebration that needs to be printed on paper and rejoiced with near and dear ones. Is it a thing to be proud of? I doubt.

Rewinding my life, I feel, I have never seen my parents running behind any materialistic pleasures. Amidst the poverty and hundreds of family problems, I have always felt my parents welcomed every soul in our lives with positivity and happiness. As I grew, this was never taught verbally, but always shown in actions. So, we as sisters imbibed this naturally. We welcomed every person in our lives with warmth and love. Today, no matter where we and how we are in our lives, besides every achievement and failures, we know, our parents are proud of every relationship that we cherish.

I am proud of every relationship that is connected to me. I am proud to hold friendships that are 20 years old and still going strong. I am so happy that I am still connected with my teachers and mentors from school who have laid the foundation for my personality. I am proud of myself for being there for people when they most needed me. I take pride in loudly saying to the world that, ‘I have a partner who puts me first before himself and holds my hand in every step of my life’. I might not be earning so much nor have any property in my name, but, I take pride in giving back to society in every way possible. I take pride in honing my soul that shall feel content. And, this is what I am proud of, ‘My Personality. The Person Who I am’.

While many might feel and say, that I would realize the feeling of ‘pride’ in your own blood’s achievements when I have one. Yes, I agree, when my life is filled with the tiny tingly experiences of that soul, I will definitely be happy. But, I would definitely feel proud, only I would be able to groom him or her into a soul which is able to live a life of true joy and contentment. A person who feels satisfied owning beautiful relationships. An individual who appreciates the value of time of every thread of his or her life. If I could do this, I will be really proud of them as well as myself.

As parents and elders, be aware and cautious of what you are showing or teaching your children. Pride is a virtue that doesn’t come from the achievements made at every stage of life. Rather finds its roots in the foundational values and the experiences cherished in the journey. So, what are you proud of yourself? What are you proud of your children? And never forget, ‘I am so proud of YOU for the person you are’. Share your thoughts and experiences and help us to be better individuals.


  • Padmavaradan

    I like your saying “proud of myself”.
    I also feel proud of myself as what I am being — fully contented & satisfied which gives you confidence in all things what you do and right path for achieving your ambitions.
    Nice reading yr writing. Love

  • Venkat

    It is depending on the scent of life is being felt by oneself. Not everyone gets fragrance nor stink, most of the time it is being scentless. Being scentless life, one cannot leave his/her regular garden. Have to prepare the scent of life to keep everyone feel good. I am preparing my scent. So, I feel proud about myself as what I am so far.

  • Subashree

    My thoughts on humanity & pride
    ( 2 or 3 years back just had my thoughts written…thought of sharing with you – reply : (
    Is the mankind hammered!! ??

    “Humanity, humane, kind, gentle, compassionate, benevolent, civilized … these words are heard, being praised, taught in the classroom, preached by several people, those who had been living with these qualities are seen like God. We respect them from their good deeds. From Mother Theresa to our own mother, where there is purity there is God”. Are these qualities been practiced in infinitesimal quantities in our lifetime? Do we really think of doing these??

    Inevitable is the value of the humane life. As we are the only pride creations of God to have smile in face, have every aspect of emotion and expression. We also have the privilege to be happy. Elevated animal form, the humane, still has to learn the qualities of sharing from animals as we the humane have forgotten the basic thought of life which is a boon to be human.

    Anything given by God is equal to our entire world. Irrespective of the living be human being, plant or animal. The rain, the sunlight, showers in forest, the city, the hut and the Palace, everywhere equally. Penetrates and reaches nook and corner to quench the need of all. The first cry of the newborn is for the rich as well as for the poor, even before he/she knows what the world is?

    Most of the times, “we” so called “human beings” tend to fail and understand the value of creation as humane. We started operating like a machine with the advancement of technology. We all earn, set benchmarks to conquer our best or grab from the rest, forget the basics, the simple ways of life which gives natural happiness, even forget the way we are brought up and grown. Fancied fascination attracts and traps us a lot of us. Fast network of new group of friends in society and fast network failure too!!

    The forgotten native, the smell of new rained soil, innocent joy, surprises and surprising loved ones, together with all, shouldering of our own friends and people, all these have turned out to be moral stories and bed time morals for this generation. The sigh and nostalgic thoughts of selfless pace of life throws up sense of humanity if remembered. We then sense to live that true real life, the way it has to be. But… the need, the urge to grow, cropping egos with lifestyle and earnings, makes us the real machines of today’s world. There lies the humanity. Most of the younger generation, perhaps, even doesn’t know that there are different seasons. As we are used to sit inside the Air conditioned so called box room now and even after life ends we are sent inside such box. Is there a difference in living life to feel life?

    Entering a new wave:

    I drove to a shopping complex in Nazar Square, DXB, reached the seventh floor, with few of my friends. We got a parking space after sometime. The glazing growth of technology and day by day changes in city attracted as if the new star of the sky felt that it ruled the sky.

    After finishing the shopping, we got back into the car to drive back to our residence. While, I was about the take my car from that parking place, I saw a lady (middle aged), looking out for a parking place. I waved my hand and showed a gesture with quick signal, saying that I am about to move and you can park your car here. One of my friends next to me, sharply said, let her find her own parking space. Haven’t we looked around in search of the place and haven’t we put effort to get one after wasting sometime. Why should we be hurried to move our car out for her? But I ensured to move and give way for her parking.

    This small incident though doesn’t have much of importance, not a big help delivered too, had been in a corner of mind even after I returned to my Home. Help can be of any sort. It can be a small concern, effective communication, gesture or even sometimes rendering our work and duty without wasting time can be of help to others. I merely vacated the space and made it useful for the one who was looking for that space at that time.

    The glazing infinite stars don’t own the sky, the Queen of the sky Moon depends on the King Sun to illuminate everyday. They are not reminded of their duty to visit the sky everyday, to shine and give happiness to the human beings and all living entities of the Universe. The Sun shines to make the planets survive and it is not shining for its self.

    Human beings survive from day of birth till the day of leaving the earth by depending something or the other around. The help that we receive is pre planned by the God and is decided even before sending us to the earth with the intention that the Chosen child of God is privileged to be a humane.

    Immaterial of what the quantum of help we do, on time, is what matters in value, than in size and wealth we do. Each one of us can be a good cause for help, if we take a step ahead and think and feel that we live at par among all living beings. After all survival with mankind makes and gives life.

    Let’s think and start learning from where we started our life. Even animals provoke our thoughts of sharing.

    • mini.asthana

      Awesome thoughts 🙂 Appreciate you sharing your ideas, imaginations, and experience in my space… Wish we could make this place a better place to live in.

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