Forgiving – A Rare Virtue
Few days back, I saw two small children hitting and fighting with each other. They did everything possible to satisfy their anger. The most amusing part was pulling each other’s hair. Seeing them fight, my childhood scenes were refreshed. The unceasing physical and verbal fights with my sister and endless patch ups were a regular scene in our house. Coming back to the present fight of these children, it seemed like a never ending battle. Then the divine angel, in the form of the mother came, gave one tight slap to both and all the fights came to a standstill. Both of them were instructed to say sorry and settle the quarrels with each other immediately. Our childhood is filled with such instances. The seeds of forgiving were sown then, in all of us. Don’t know why, forgiving still remains to be a rare virtue.
We all have been travelling on this journey of forgiving, since our childhood. Yet, we always struggle to forgive our loved ones. Do you know why? Even though the seed of forgiving, has been sowed since the formative years, our mind is not fed with the appropriate logical reasoning behind it. The rationalism of forgiving is never divulged in children.
There is a reason why forgiving is considered to be a virtue of an individual’s personality. There is a purpose, why we should forgive our loved ones. It is very essential to communicate the importance of forgiving our emotions and people associated with the same. It is vital to inculcate what wonders forgiving can create in our life. A lot is said and debated about forgiving and steps to forgive. However the logical thought process of forgiveness is never addressed.
Holding a grudge against anybody or oneself for the whole life is unhealthy for the body. Forgiving is not just about forgetting and moving on. It is not about overlooking the infidelity and start fresh overnight. It is all about achieving the freedom from the grip of pain caused by our loved ones. It is about recognizing the causes of the wound and tackling the roots of the pain. Letting go the resentment will only make oneself feel clearer and positive. It makes the personality stronger and enriches to handle the challenges of the life in an optimistic manner. It is easy said than done. But it is not impossible.
True forgiving is a slow internal grooming process, completely independent of the actions of the others. A cautious and conscious mental effort to encounter the emotions such as anger, hate, betrayal, wound, etc., will lead into the life of forgiveness. One of the important phases of forgiveness is in understanding, how the pain and betrayal affected you.
Anger can still exist where there is forgiveness, just as joy can exist simultaneously with grief. Pain isn’t an isolated experience or emotion. When we are hurt, it affects all aspects of ourselves and our relationships. It is okay to feel the emotion without giving it control. In this journey, it is important to have compassion towards yourself. Forgiveness is more than releasing your hands from the neck of the person who hurt you. It is about releasing your hands from your own neck. In short, forgiving others will give immense pleasure of happiness and peace along with stability of the emotions for oneself.
From our birth to death, forgiving is the most important human virtue. Facing, forgiving and freeing the bondage’s of the emotions, is prerequisite to lead a serene life. The method of inculcating moral values with appropriate reasoning in children is a must. Such values with perfect rationalism will last forever in one’s life. As parents, it is substantial to sow accurate seeds of forgiving, nurturing with proper fertilizer of logical reasons. Such seeds would reap sweetest fruits in life. Forgive & Stay Healthy.