men-against-rape-and-discrimination

Photo Credit: Men Against Rape and Discrimination (MARD) @ http://www.realmard.com/

It is quite some time, since the media has talked about women and women related crimes such as rape, molestation, sexual harassment etc. While we saw the massive protest for the December 16th 2012, Delhi Gang Rape case; there was no such major protest for the August 22nd 2013, Mumbai Photo Journalist rape case or when a man in Ludhiana raped his minor daughter for four months continuously. These are just few dipstick samples, which have come to limelight with the support of media. There are many cases which we see happening around us in our day to day life, yet we tend to ignore and carry on with our path.

Every other day, we have news of such crimes, which by nature it should create restlessness among the common man. But considering the rate at which it appears in media, they are no more “THE BREAKING NEWS”. Sadly we seem to have got immune to it.

It is true that, we all are active in social media such as Facebook, You Tube, Twitter etc, to comment and share are diverse opinions of such incidents, and at times fail to look at our own self.

Let me share a very well known, yet overlooked tale of someone who is very close to YOU. Yes, I know about someone who is close to you. Here goes the story;

SHE is a Woman. She is married and runs the family. She gets up at four in morning, cooks breakfast and lunch for her husband and children. She finishes all the odd jobs such as cleaning vessels, washing clothes, sweeping, mobbing etc. She makes the children ready for school in the most neat and tidy manner along with giving them healthy and nutritious food. She makes sure her husband’s personal and office requirements is ready on time and sends him off to office with a bright and warm smile. After all this, she is ready to serve and help her in laws. After settling everyone, she runs to her office with a slice of bread in her hand, to eat on her way. As she enters the office, the clock says, “You are late by ten minutes”. Setting apart the frustration, she starts her day with the same zeal and zest, fulfilling all her official tasks. As the clock strikes four, she runs to school to pick her children, and reaches home. Once home, she is back to her house work station, and gets started the preparation of evening snacks and dinner, in between, making sure, kids don’t spend much time on playing and get back to their studies. At 8 PM , the dinner table is set. Children and in laws are served the food, after which the children are made to sleep with amazing bed time stories. She keeps seeing the clock, waiting for her husband to arrive and share the dinner table with him. After long wait, at 11PM he arrives from office, and he says, “I have already had my dinner, you carry on”. With the disappointment, she has her half dinner and reaches her bed at 12.30 in the night. Just when she is exhausted and tired, without any option, she has to satisfy her husband in every way possible. And the cycle of her life revolves around this duration of time.

Do you know who she is? Do you know who plays this role throughout the day, without any complaint or protest? She is YOUR WIFE who is not only your wife, but plays the role of a mother, daughter, daughter in law, sister, sister in law, friend, and companion for many.

You might be wondering why did I have to tell a story which is very well known to you? Time for every man to peep into your conscience. At the outside, you might give hundred reasons for rapes happening to women, and blaming and cursing her, for her own problems.

But now it is time for you to think what is happening in your relationship with your partner. Every time when your wife is tired and exhausted; not ready for sex, she is forced to have it, just to fulfil her “HUSBAND’S DESIRE’S”. This might not be legally and constitutionally considered as rape, but to me this is also a “RAPE”, because she is doing it for you, though she is not voluntarily fascinated about it. Hence it can be rightly said that, RAPE HAPPENS IN EVERY HOUSE.

Time that every man stops pointing fingers towards others, and start looking into one’s own actions. Time for all the husbands to start respecting HER wishes and wants. Stop RAPING your wife and taking HER for granted.

Sex has to be mutually desired expression of love without any compulsion. If it is not mutual, and if it is forced, then sadly, every time you are having sex, you are RAPING your partner. Period.”

P.S: This article is not hurt anyone’s sentiments, or thoughts. It is my opinion, which I want all the husbands and going to be husbands, to read and think about. And next time you have sex consider HER wish also and I am sure, your relationship will be much happier and satisfying

Further reading

6 Comments

  • We the “educated” and the “liberal” sect of this “depraved” India have always felt a lack of connection and possibly even an “amazement” at the actions of the rapists. The illusion remains quite profound in many, causing them to take the streets asking for a revolutionary governances.

    While most of us reading this article would go “Hey, I respect my wife”. The issue transcends the literal meaning of “respect”. Time to burst the bubble. Rape is not a sexual assault. Rape is not a statement against westernization. Rape is not extreme medievalism. Rape IS simply the oppressive luxury that the society has permitted for the men and tolerated by the women.

    Both Men and Women are at fault for Rapes. A rape victim suffers less from her horrendous event and more from the burden of carrying the “shame”, which the society inflicts on her. Considering how terrible the event is, that does say something about us, does it not? Women and Men have to take their stand equally in the world. The time is upon us!

    • Awesome and I love the way put things on track!! 🙂
      Keep up the good writing!!
      Confessions dimensions illusions….a lot of feces and interpretation for the way we respect a fellow human, especially the life partner!!!
      Good one bro 🙂

  • S Saravanan

    Kudos for writing a nice article on a topic that is largely considered taboo.Since you have brought your views on a very sensitive topic, here is a question – How many women in India are even aware of marital rape ? Very few probably. Many consider it their duty to satisfy their husbands and some religions even clearly state this as a rule. Men take advantage of this very situation .So I feel we should sensitize our women too on this issue and help them gain their rightful place in the relationship.

  • Akila

    Every men should read this article..A women not only needs respect she always needs her feelings to be respected at least with her husband…Its not about accomplishing wildly sexual desires with a women,if such desire is there even government has approved red light area,such animal can go and fulfill his desires…

  • Vidya Ramanujam

    I agree in part with Kartik’s comments, governance should start at home with the women who are trying to be the super heroes. While I do empathize and appreciate the women in the article trying to be the “good all” to everyone, it is time women take equal responsibility in their contribution by maintaining silence. Women strive to be better qualified in every aspect and yet condescend and resolve to self pity when it comes to standing up for their own rights at home. A popular quote by Confucius comes to mind “Respect yourself and others will respect you”. It is time women draw the line where they want to, stop blaming the society. While the truth maybe playing a woman’s role is thankless and rewarded mostly with criticism, at the end of it, it is she who is responsible for her actions and choices. Women should stop living a life of pseudo satisfaction that satisfying her man’s desires against her will is just a bologna. Really, who are they lying to? It is however a whole different strategy when it comes to statutory rape – awareness and encouraging to voice crime, resolving not to be the collateral damage of a male chauvinistic society should start at home at an early age and at schools. Self defense and simple tools like a pepper spray can help bring a small change in the rape statistics

    • Mohan Karthik

      A millenium of heavily established patriarchal society has robbed most women of their voice. Getting into the details here would lead to pluralistic approaches, decided based on the circumstances and the atmosphere of each circumstance. While a woman in a modern (almost gender equal) society might have the onus on her to raise her voice and climb the ladder (most women do, they are quite awesome when unleashed), expecting the same in rural India tends towards “unfairness”.

      I apologise that the “rural India” was a strawman example, but the same is applicable at different intensities in the various levels of the society. I do agree with your point, that where women are at an equality, they should not squander it with a “psuedo satisfaction”. But personally, I would consider that as a next step towards gender equalization and that we are very very far away from that step as of now. Right now, the oppressive atrocities on the female psyche is too great to even imagine blaming the female gender!

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