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When Your Perspective Changes, Happiness Puts On Different Clothes

Blogging Happiness Smile — Bye 2018 Welcome 2019

2018 – A year filled with lots of celebrations. Whether it was birthdays, anniversaries or festivals, celebrations were in full swing. Oh! Not to forget those unbeatable vacation time with my partner in crime. Yet, somewhere, I personally wasn’t happy or satisfied with how 2018 treated me. Health was constantly in an angry and grumpy mood. My body and I were mutually disconnected. The life as a freelancer wasn’t so great with lots of downs and hope of up in the graph. Rarely blogged, hardly got paid or exciting work and seldom responded to the audience. In short, a very dull year.

As the year ended, I reflected the events of 2018 and my reactions to those occasions, I was startled to have wasted so much time of my life. What I could feel that I was so immersed in my own pain and most of the times, couldn’t be their others when they needed me. I was focussed on solving my problems, thinking, firstly I need to clear the roadblocks of my life. Unfortunately, nothing happened as I perceived. There was hardly a time when I had called up my near and dear ones to share my happiness or sadness. I unintentionally blocked so many fragments of relationships which never meant to be.

Blogging Positive Happiness — Happy Positive Vibes

As every year teaches something, 2018 has been a great revelation of myself to me. A year that changed my perspective towards myself and the people around me. It has taught me, ‘If you walk on a road, roadblocks are meant to be. One plan to clear all the roadblocks and then walk’. Learn to walk, pick up the blocks and continue walking. The year 2018 has also taught to be happy from within. Happiness is contagious and if you can spread it like a virus, nothing like that.

With a new and refreshing year, time to apply the learnings from 2018. In 2019, I am consciously trying to make efforts for myself to find reasons to smile and be happy, irrespective of what life throws at me. Take pleasures and appreciate every small aspect of my life, for I am blessed to have them. I do not promise that I won’t feel sad or frown. But, I promise to not to dwell in that mode for long. This year I shall help and heal people with my smile and positivity. This year I promise to walk in the path of turning all my dreams into reality. And, definitely read this blog, whenever I am sailing in through the hurdles of life. I am going to make this year count for the rest of my life.

The first nine days of the year has already been ticked off and I could see the change within me. If you wish to have a satisfying year, it is not only important to see the results, it is firstly important for you to take the steps towards the same. One day at a time. Those baby steps towards whatever you wish for.

Stay tuned to this space and 2019, for I am coming with some thought-provoking pieces of writing and exciting ideas to make our world happier. Share your ideas, goals, and dreams, and how you wish to fulfill them. Are you set to take your baby steps? If not, then do it right away. Because, if you change the perspective, trust me, happiness puts on different, vibrant, and comforting clothes.

You Are the Daughter We Always Wished For…

Daughter-in-law — Respect, Love & Appreciate

‘You are the daughter we always wished for’, said the ever-smiling in-laws to the bride. And, my mind laughed with ridicule, ‘Huh! The same old cliché dialogue of the society. Alas! Nothing has changed over the years’. Isn’t this a typical scenario in most of the Indian weddings where the words and actions contradict themselves? We all have witnessed it. We all have faced it.

A few months back, it was my bestie’s turn to get hitched to her longtime partner and stepped into the most unpredictable roller-coaster ride of the life. An inter-caste wedding where the beauty of the north and south rituals was singing in glory. Right from the moment, we stepped into the wedding, it was all about royalty. From the welcome of the guests to the stunning wedding decors, outfits, the endless variety of cuisines, mesmerizing music, traditional dances, bridal and groom entries. Oh Man! You name it, they had it at the wedding.

The experience of that big fat Indian wedding that was worth half a crore was one to be remembered for life. Not just for the grand and gala three-day regal affair, but, for the way, the people conducted themselves upholding relationships beyond the norms of society. A wedding that truly depicted the merge of the north and the south. The groom’s family had arranged a stunning welcome and introduction for the bride’s family with the theme of Hum Saath Saath Hain during the Sangeet function. This helped not just the parents, but also the extended families of the bride and the groom to feel comfortable and enjoy the wedding. It was a wedding, where the in-laws focused more on the bride, her comfort, and her needs than their own relatives and friends.

Having witnessed weddings filled with family chaos, ego-clashes, the pride and domination of the groom’s family, etc., this wedding celebration quite an opposite scene. It was pleasant to see, how the groom’s side meant every word that they uttered to their daughter-in-law. There was a scene when the groom’s father, looked at the bride, and uttered, ‘You are the daughter we always wished for. So, let’s go’. I had no words to appreciate them for how they have treated all the bride’s family. A wedding that was filled with joy, happiness, comfort, laughter, and remarkable memories for all.

Today, every side we turn, it is all about the dowry harassment, in-law’s compatibility issues, ego wars between the relationships, divorce, etc., this wedding was a modern zest of positive fragrance. It reinstated my belief towards the institution of marriage and family. I was stunned with happiness and pride in the way my friend and her family, were treated, welcomed and respected. This was a wedding, which is a mirror for the modern-day in-laws who step in the journey of becoming the parents of the bride. A wonderful way to sow the right seeds for the in-law’s relationship.

Every daughter leaves her nest filled with umpteen memories and hundreds of threads of the strong relationships of unconditional love. With the same hope of love and respect, and myriad of questions, doubts, and hiccups, she begins her new journey without any clarity of the destination. And, when she gets such a compassionate and understanding family, the journey becomes far more significant and worthier, than the destination itself.

And This is What I am Proud Of…

Sometimes working from home and working solo, handling personal and professional commitments can be quite overwhelming. Today was one such day. The multiple deliveries of projects, online mentoring and reviewing of students, hundreds of mundane household chores, and above all my never-ending pursuit to hit the gym. Oh, My God, today was one among the exhaustive days with lots of certainty and uncertainty. What better than a long walk accompanied by the evergreen tunes of the Legendary A.R. Rahman to beat the tiredness. A man who doesn’t need a definition. I am proud and blessed to be born in this time of the evolution where I can cherish memories of his music. (Don’t worry, I am not going to talk to about ARR).

After the tiring and yet joyful session in the gym, as I step out, the dark clouds turn into the mighty shower of rain and make the day even more blissful. The half drenched me, gets inside a vegetable market to wait for the rains to slow down. As I remove the headphones and start enjoying the sounds of the thunder and rain, I hear two women conversing with each other. Judging by the context of the conversation and the tone, I felt they were in the mid-fifties and they had an interesting conversation about their children.

The Conversation:

One woman told the other, that I am so proud of my son that it’s been five years that he is in the US, he has got a promotion, bought a house and settled in his life. The other lady congratulated her and added her joy. She stated that her son has finally agreed to get married to a girl from our own caste, leaving behind the past, and she is proud of her son. She added that the wedding preparations and celebrations are about to begin in a few weeks. They sounded joyful and marked this moment as the biggest victory of their lives. As I was hearing this conversation, I completely ignored the fact that the rains have stopped. I started my journey back home yet the conversation was still lingering in my mind.

After the dinner, here I am still wondering about the conversation that ended my day. Most of us would have heard this statement from our parents, friends, peers or colleagues, ‘I am so proud of you’. (If you haven’t, then you better say it to yourself and take pride in loving and appreciating yourself’). Coming back to the conversation and the topic, it took me to the moments of my childhood, and wondered ‘What did they actually mean, when they said, I am so proud of you?’. I kept questioning myself, ‘Where they proud of my marks, my salary, my career path, my decisions?’ I felt today that the statement, ‘I am proud of you’ was incomplete when they uttered to me in my formative years.

My Thoughts

In the conversation between the mothers, it felt as if they were happy that their children listened to their decisions. I always wonder, why parents are so happy when their child agrees to get married to the person that they have chosen. Of course, in this world of love marriages, I also see family and friends who appreciate children who choose their own partners. But, I have also seen parents who feel proud and brag about their children, if he or she gets a job in the international location or buys a house or a car. Oh, I forgot, a green card, amidst the Trump chaos, is definitely considered as a celebration that needs to be printed on paper and rejoiced with near and dear ones. Is it a thing to be proud of? I doubt.

Rewinding my life, I feel, I have never seen my parents running behind any materialistic pleasures. Amidst the poverty and hundreds of family problems, I have always felt my parents welcomed every soul in our lives with positivity and happiness. As I grew, this was never taught verbally, but always shown in actions. So, we as sisters imbibed this naturally. We welcomed every person in our lives with warmth and love. Today, no matter where we and how we are in our lives, besides every achievement and failures, we know, our parents are proud of every relationship that we cherish.

I am proud of every relationship that is connected to me. I am proud to hold friendships that are 20 years old and still going strong. I am so happy that I am still connected with my teachers and mentors from school who have laid the foundation for my personality. I am proud of myself for being there for people when they most needed me. I take pride in loudly saying to the world that, ‘I have a partner who puts me first before himself and holds my hand in every step of my life’. I might not be earning so much nor have any property in my name, but, I take pride in giving back to society in every way possible. I take pride in honing my soul that shall feel content. And, this is what I am proud of, ‘My Personality. The Person Who I am’.

While many might feel and say, that I would realize the feeling of ‘pride’ in your own blood’s achievements when I have one. Yes, I agree, when my life is filled with the tiny tingly experiences of that soul, I will definitely be happy. But, I would definitely feel proud, only I would be able to groom him or her into a soul which is able to live a life of true joy and contentment. A person who feels satisfied owning beautiful relationships. An individual who appreciates the value of time of every thread of his or her life. If I could do this, I will be really proud of them as well as myself.

As parents and elders, be aware and cautious of what you are showing or teaching your children. Pride is a virtue that doesn’t come from the achievements made at every stage of life. Rather finds its roots in the foundational values and the experiences cherished in the journey. So, what are you proud of yourself? What are you proud of your children? And never forget, ‘I am so proud of YOU for the person you are’. Share your thoughts and experiences and help us to be better individuals.

Are you a busy bee of the corporate world?

Tick-tick, tick-tock, it’s 9.00 AM. A mob of robots in the form of human enters the campus of tall silver and grey colored buildings. Tick-tick, it is 6.00 PM, the same crowd comes out. An everyday scene during my life in the corporate world. I was also one among these robots, who could not survive more than three years in this polychromatic corporate world. Thanks to the universe that my corporate life came to an ended very soon. Having said that, I always wondered what made people come to this strange world every day relentlessly.

Questioning myself, I realized, hopping through multiple corporate gates fueled by bumpy roads, my peers were the only motivating factor for me. My colleagues have been a great drive during my short stint. This was my story. But, when asked a few who just stepped into this world and who had already spent more than a decade and two, I realized people’s motives to reach these doors of hope was more than money.

Money unquestionably was the implicit reason for their presence in this world. Beyond this, few referred the quality of work that they did and the product or service they delivered made them feel alive every day. Few even felt that, even though they aren’t paid to the market standards, it is the work that they do matters in their life. For few, it was a compulsion from the family to be in the corporate world and settle in the foreign land, for others it was a way to fulfill their parent’s dreams in immediate future.

The rat race of climbing the ladder, insensitive politics and inhuman treatment of the employees were the reasons why I stepped out of this world. Coming back to the present scenario, one of the young budding corporate robot, stated his thoughts in a very simple, quirky and humble way, ‘In just two years of time in this four walls of the corporate world, I feel like a puppet who is treated like a slave. I am not paid as my other team members. Yet, I come here every day. Do you know why? I am a bachelor and stay in a PG. I come here for free food, AC, comfortable ambiance, and free wifi. I do exactly whatever is told, nothing less or more. I am making the best use of this time and space for my life and sowing seeds of my future and with time, they won’t even know when I shall escape this place’. Aha! I am always amazed by the prodigies of the human mind and how it can have millions of perspectives for the same scenario.

Everyone has their own reasons to travel in this world. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the roadblocks of this universe. The real jackpot of the corporate world is the learnings of life and beautiful relationships that we carry back even after you leave this space not become robots in real life impacting our personal lives as well.

So if you around positive and encouraging people, it is a place to be in, irrespective of the paycheck. If not, think about moving out of your comfort zone (the present zone), because you are not a tree. You can and must move ahead and think of a better peaceful and promising life. Are you a busy bee robot of the corporate world? Look around and embrace the real emotions; because that’s what gives the true meaning to your life.

Words of Gratitude and Grit – A Million Questions

I watch the last scintillating rise of the glorious sun of this year, giving me infinite positive energies and sowing the words of gratitude and grit in me. And once again, here I am, writing yet another, Thank You Blog for my incredible audience who have been sailing with me in my journey of life. I owe every pie of the success and failure (vital steps of the ladder of growth) to my audience who have given me constructive feedback. I am indebted to my readers who are a passive catalyst in my life as a writer and aid me pushing my limits.

As I look down to the sweepers on the road, I see two women talking to each other in the teary eye and sharing comforting words of hope. With such a beauty of life, my mind goes back to a recent bus journey, when I overheard a girl speaking in a proper TamBrahm language and giving very polite instructions to her mother-in-law (totally my assumption and as she wore madisaar) over the phone. A few minutes later, the same girl was talking in Urdu to her mother (assuming with her tone and way of speaking). The conversation ended beautifully with a notorious smile on her face, which got infected with me. Yes, the smile bug bit me and stuck with me for a long period of time.

A non-verbal interaction of smiles reflected the new changing thoughts of the society. Even though the change is very slow and in a negligible percentage, it is certainly commendable for a TamBrahm family to accept a Muslim girl as their daughter-in-law and vice-versa for a boy. Most of the times, we do see men are always appreciated, irrespective of what they do and how they interact with their in-laws. As I write this, I also question, as to how many women are appreciated and respected for their efforts in a house, where people of mixed culture live together.

Are the efforts to mingle with the new family, looked upon or looked down, stating it as, it’s her duty to do so? It is comforting to see how the next generation accepts and adapts to the different cultures and follow them religiously irrespective of whether they believe in them or not. But is it all worth the time of their life? A million questions with no conclusive answers tangled in my mind.

As my mind dances to the music of my emotions and words, I continue writing and deleting the words on my notepad, I pause for a second and silently look back the year that has gone by. A year filled with innumerable instances of growth and learnings of life. A time to look back and feel strong, amidst the ups and downs of life and grow as a person.

The year 2017 has been a small yet definite growth in my freelance career and gain of knowledge in the professional arena. Many clients came into my business. Few had a small stint and some are still trusting me and holding my hands and continuing to take my services. I’m truly indebted to the trust.

On the personal front, it has been a great year in terms of quality time spent with the family. Thanks to my partner for pushing me to give up on the frenzied corporate life and start my own venture at my leisure. No personal life is complete without potholes and I had my share of bumps worthy of experience, and learning the better perspective of people and relationships. As I step into the New Year, I am positive and strong to face the challenges of life and help my readers and people around me to seek a life filled with the joy of sharing and caring.

Thank You Once Again for Trusting in My Work!!!

Wishing you a very Happy, the Peaceful and Prosperous Year of 2018!!!

Love, Best Wishes & Regards,

Rustic Roots,

Ila Asthana

The Magic Masala of Life

Power of Education — Magic Masala of Life

Do you know what magic that the hundreds of masala powder (any powder) add to a dish? It adds fragrance, flavor, and finesse to a food. It gives a shape and sense to a dish. A normal home comfort food becomes a fine dining experience in itself. That’s the power of masala in a food. Likewise, do you what is the Magic Masala of Life? Do you know you have it in you? Yes, it is in your hands. It’s in you. Keep guessing. Keep thinking. This is one of the Magic Masala, which you cannot miss using it in the recipe of your life.

As I browse my history of saved bookmarks, an article about education popped up. The blog spoke about the speech of Malala Yousafzai. The one statement spoken by her, caught my attention instantly was, ‘In some parts of the world, students go to school every day. It’s their normal life. But in other parts of the world, we are starving for education… it’s like a precious gift. It’s like a diamond.’

This blog made me realize, how a good and proper education has played a significant role in my life. If it was not the struggle of my mother, I wouldn’t have had an education in the first place. Thanks to my mother for fighting a life for me. If I hadn’t had a right set of teachers to guide me in life, I wouldn’t have the positivity in me. The list goes on and I owe it to what I refer as the magic masala, ‘Education’.

Most of the times we forget to embrace, appreciate and be thankful for the education bestowed on our lives. However, you would never do so, if you reflect back and see how education has changed your life. Look around and you will realize hundreds of children are denied of this Masala of Life. Education has empowered my life with knowledge, confidence, and courage to break the barriers of opportunities. Education is the Magic Masala of My Life. What do you say? What is the Magic Masala of Your Life?

Writeathon 2017 commences from today. This year, I am making the best of the efforts to bring in blogs solely on the power and magic of education. Get glued to this space for witty, interesting, and informative stories of my school and college memories, how education impacts an individual’s mindset and life and how we as a society should take a deeper dig into this masala which adds Magic in every child’s life.

The Lost Road

It’s Friday Morning and I get this text from a friend, ‘I have not seen your blog for a very long time. Neither any other activity happening on your website’, a message from one of my silent, subtle followers of my writings and work. Strange to know and realize that, there are a set of audience who wait for your work and thoughts.

It has been quite a few months that I have written for myself. Umpteen number of commitments in the personal and professional end; and most of the times procrastination and liberty of zero deadlines have led to the almost death of my website.

There have so many times when I wanted to write, but something or the other stopped me. Guess, just my own thoughts had been the blocks to the lost road. Today, just wanted to scramble down my muddled musings and declutter them.

I promise to myself and to my readers and inspirers, in time to come, I shall be more active and fruitful towards myself and my work.

Thank You to all My Lovely Readers,

Love,
Ila Asthana

The Magic Box

Twenty years before could you have imagined, that, you could have a small box which would rule and ruin your life? A small tool, which can show the tremendous magic of technology and offer a luxurious and comfortable life. A power packed commodity on which our complete life is dependent upon. A reliable and affordable product connecting the threads of life. Yes! I am talking about the greatest invention of mankind, Mobile Phones. The Magic Box of all our lives. The joy of possessing the first mobile phone is an amazing and unexplainable emotion.

Recently, in a bus stop, I purposefully counted the number of people, glued to the mobile phones, not realizing and feeling the world around them. Probably more than three fourth of the crowd was in their own world, and the rest staring at them and may be wondering what they were stuck with. The truth is, my smartphone had some signal issues and I escaped the three-fourth crowd.

Just then coincidentally, an elderly man, looked at me with the curious eyes of a child, ‘We use mobile phones for talking. What do you, young generation do with the mobile phone all through the day? Is it something we older generation are missing out?’ I was confused and didn’t know what to answer. The origin of mobile phone was meant to bridge the communication gap across borders. Today, this magic box is doing wonders in our life.

From being portable to handy, mobile phones are the most used technological devices by the mankind. Irrespective of the need and sector, mobile phones and its features are lifting the experience of the lifestyle of the consumer. Ten years before, who knew, we could buy groceries and medicines with just a few clicks of our thumb. No one could imagine, we could all join hands for a social cause which is happening in a remote village in Africa. From communication to paying the bills to tracking your health regime and what not. This magic box has done it all. Kudos to every human being, who is in some corner, making the best efforts to harness its potential.

Every new technology is a boon as well as a bane. Too much of technology has also shaped mankind to be lazy. Even today, our previous generation, meticulously write’s down the phone numbers in a paper. They do not completely trust the capabilities of the magic box. Mobile phones have become a source of escape from the challenges of life. Gone are the days, when the family time was all about chatting and eating at the dinner table. Today, much is happening over the mobile phones and sometimes, ruining our relationship with our loved ones.

A man-made magic box has taken over our lives, without our knowledge. We are the Magicians. The magic is in our hands to use the magic box so that it neither rule’s or ruin’s our life. Use the magic box with appropriate and necessary magic tricks to make your life magical and memorable.

Do you Eat to Live or Live to Eat?

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A family member recently commented on my increase in the body weight. My instant reply was, ‘Hum Khathe Peethae Ghar Ke Hain (We come from a lavish eating family). Maybe which is why you feel so’. The prolonged silence was broken, after the continuous taunts, on my gain of weight from different facets of the society. Despite the fact, that the intention was to bring in a sense of humor, it turned out to be otherwise. Nevertheless, conversations changed, thoughts changed and the setting changed. I wonder, why do we keep assessing and commenting on someone’s physical appearance.

There were few instances in life, when people have questioned, whether I eat to live or live to eat. While I knew the actual answer from my heart, I would always reverse and reciprocate otherwise. The truth is I Live to Eat. Yes! I exist to eat, satisfy my palate and innate hunger of food. I breathe, live, eat, hog, and then again, breathe, live, eat, hog and the circle of my life continues. When I say live to eat, I mean, I relish the whole process of eating, which includes, cooking, tasting, hogging, serving all types of food, which might be a simple home cooked food to any modern cuisine.

My palate is a little restricted and I am picky in the foods that I experiment with. However, I love to tweak and twist the traditional journey of food in my life. The curiosity to taste the different Indian Vegetarian cuisines and flavors is reflected in my food lifestyle. It is very hard for a person like me, who lives to eat, to pick a favorite food or cuisine. We cherish the journey of country-side food. For me especially, Indian rural style of cooking, its taste and flavors are always at the pinnacle.

I do not term myself as a Foodie, but I am a Food Lover, who not only wants to take a deep dive in the palate experience but also be a part in the creation of mouth-watering and melting flavors. A food love which is far beyond just eating and trying out new cuisines. With all these attitudes and habits as a food lover, it is reflected in my physical and mental personality as well.

It is completely fine to hog, unless it is balanced with appropriate physical activity. Well, I have put on a lot of weight, which is clearly visible and undeniable. Nonetheless, I have no regrets. I feel very exceptionally happy when I go through the process as a food lover. I am physically active and making all the efforts to stay healthy and have a balanced life. Whatever your weight is, if you have the habit of eating the food with utmost enjoyment and stay happy, ignore the talk of the world. You have better things to taste in life. Go and hunt for your next dish to satisfy your palate and hunger for a perfectly flavored and tasty food.

Is there a thread that connects Age and Maturity?

‘When he becomes older, he will act maturely’, ‘She behaves in a childish way. Hope she is matured enough to handle life’, ‘At this age, you are supposed to handle your life in a matured way’.

Yes! We have all grown up listening to these clichéd conversations. Personally, I have experienced many people using such statements, in their wisdom of affection for their loved ones. Sometimes, even I tend to utter such words. Maybe consciously or unconsciously, our minds are wired to those thoughts after years of constant hearing of the same. The link between the age of a person and their behavior are to assess the maturity level of the person. Is the society, the thought process and the approach of behaving with an individual entangled between the age and maturity level of an individual? Is age and maturity, the factors influencing the relationship dynamics?

While I ponder over these thoughts, in my tiny little mind, I realize an instant in my life which happened during my college days. I met a teenage girl, working at a cancer research center as an office executive, helping with the daily chores and small activities such as cleaning the office and desk, taking care of the food facility, bathroom cleaning etc., in the office. After lots of observation of her quick, clean and hygienic way of working, I wished to speak to her.

An hour long, was about her dream of joining the Civil Services of India, for which she is saving one rupee every day. Her earnings go into running the family, which also includes the income of her parents, who earn through daily wages of construction work. Against all the odds, she goes to a government school and in the evening she comes to work, pursues her dream in the light of the sky and stars. No fascinations of dresses, toys or a luxurious life.
All that she wanted was a book to study to change her life, as well as the life of thousand others.

As I write about this small, yet matured individual, I wish to talk about a person, who hails from a strong family background, possessing an education qualification worthy of obtaining a job, a highly intellectual and intelligent brain and a decent personality. However, his attitude and his arrogance ruined the life of his family members. In both the instances, I doubt the link between the age and maturity level of the individual. Many scientific studies have proven the link these two factors. However, my mind always questions this hypothesis.

Growing old is very easy. Keep having birthdays and you reach your old age. Growing in Maturity is totally a different approach than growing old. It’s like looking at the aging through new eyes. It requires a cautious effort of work and tuning of thoughts in an appropriate way. All of us will grow old, yet only a few can grow old with maturity. My two instances of life, amidst the thousands, reveals there is no link between age and maturity level of an individual. A young girl behaved perfectly understanding the conditions of a family and vice versa in the next instant.

Maturity is one’s choice of acting towards the responsibilities of life. Maturity doesn’t resemble on age because, some children/ teenagers may be more mature than some adults, this is because they understand the world differently and have probably had more experience in the hard times at a young age.

Edwin Louis Cole once suggested, “Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of choice.” He couldn’t have been more accurate. A childish behavior in the most fun full way must always be appreciated. Being a child at heart is a trait, which not many possess. If you see anyone being childish and playful, don’t come to conclusions about their maturity level, representing their age. Age is a mere number, which doesn’t reflect a person’s character. Watch your words, especially, when you are handling children.