“Actions speak better than words”
Parenting is one of the most responsible, yet rewarding job of life. In this modern age, parenting not only requires lots of patience and perseverance, it also needs lots of creative skills to mould our children in the right path, because it is the way parents communicate with children when they are less than 5 years old, forms the foundation of their whole life.
An era, where children are way too intelligent, it is very important to note that, this above proverb needs to be used with little modification. A period where children are smart and intelligent, along with high level of grasping power and analytical skills, it is essential for the parents to have a check not only on the actions, but also on the language and the kind of words used while having a conversation with children.
Just a question to all those parents;
“How often do you tell your child “don’t touch” or “don’t do that”?”
Does this question give the answer in action that you as parents, want from them? If you had noticed, the children would have continued to do what they were doing.
Research studies have found that, when we say “don’t”, followed by the action that should not be done, their brain catches the words and thinks of the actions stated. The children are always looking for the action, which parents want them to engage in. They don’t register “do” or “don’t”. For children, the command is everything after “don’t”. So when one says, “Don’t jump on the sofa”, the command they hear is, “Jump on the sofa.”
For example, if I say to you “Don’t think of a white elephant” the first thing you probably thought of was a white elephant. If I say, “Don’t look over there” you look and say, “Where?”
Hence it is important to take cautious effort on the kind of sentences and words, which is used with children, for them to respond in the right way. There is a universal law that states, what you focus on expands in your life. Focus on the actions you want and use words that help to accomplish that action.
Researches have shown that, it is very important to give convincing reasons to children, when we tell them not to do a particular action. So when you don’t want the children to jump on sofa, it is better to put it as “Sofa is for people to sit, and floor is for jumping. Please stay off from the sofa.” Substitute those negative words such as “Don’t, No” etc. with positive words of actions that children need to follow.
As parents being the closest relationship for the children, the conversation with them, impacts the children’s attitude towards life in the most powerful way. Those negative words can create an inferiority complex, lack of self-confidence, and a sense of negativity leading to depression and suicide in the long run in future.
Every child is just like those beautiful unique flowers, which need special care and ability to nurture. As parents, it is imperative, to stay cautious about what and how we talk to our children and in which fashion. A fertile seed that is sown today, will give the sweetest fruit tomorrow.